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About Deviant Member Tayo SmartMale/United States Group :iconmegavelraptor-love: Megavelraptor-Love
 
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Yup that's what 2014 is shaping to be, a total repeat of one of the worst, if not THE worst, years of my existence. The death of James Avery (Uncle Phil) on the first day should have been the sign of whats to come. and yes, i know that he does not relate to me in any way, but i take these signs to heart ok?! After that was just a hodgepodge of arguing, anxiety, worrying about the future, me being stuck at home, suicidal thoughts, brain cells decaying, and get this, me losing the one thing that actually kept my ass sane; my iPod touch. When i lost that shit i was a major mess, my misanthropy and hatred for everything came back at full power, and my desire for the end of the world was twice as strong. Also if it's not the cold weather that depressed me these past two months, IT'S THE GODDAMN SNOW!!!!!! yes i know i'm beating a dead horse by saying how much i absolutely LOATHE snow during winter, but this one made me hate it even more. Every fucking week was a damn snow storm, and shoveling it became a weekly workout. Finally to make matters worse, the last two classes that i need in order to graduate is two of the hardest of all, which REALLY made me think if the major i'm taking is even the right one, and if all what i put in was a waste of time and energy. not only that, but add the fact that my career is super competitive and i'm not as good or advanced as everyone around me, and that REALLY makes me doubt my future. I doubted it before, but now it's confirmed that my future is absolutely gonna suck. Add the fact that I can't get a job and i have 4 days free and I can honestly say that i'll prolly end up jumping off the BK Bridge before i reach 30, or hell, 29 at this damn rate. Yes suicide is selfish, weak, and gets me a first class ticket to hell, but I just can't take the hell that i'm living right now. Besides, i often dream about an alternate life, one where I am stronger, bigger, more aggressive, smarter, and have more fun too, because I sure as shit ain't getting that crap now. If I can't get into a coma, then death is my next alternative because I am really at wits end.
....the only positive thing that happened to me tho was that I FINALLY got a new iPod even though i had to sacrifice my money i was trying to save for myself, but the feeling is actually bittersweet because even tho ill get my music and games back, my mood is so damn bad that I won't feel like doing anything with it anyway, and the fear of losing it again does not help at all.
I just give up man....this is way too much stress for me to handle, so I'll end this with Erick Sermon's words "And this might be my last hurrah, I'ma rock now until tomorrow..."
  • Mood: Anxious
  • Listening to: Infinite Blue- F-Zero GX

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TayobkTailz
Tayo Smart
United States
Current Residence: Brooklyn,
deviantWEAR sizing preference: Large
Favourite genre of music: All except country, but recently video game music
Favourite photographer: Robert Fien
Favourite style of art: whichever i fucking want
Operating System: The Giedon Meat Packing Plant in Saw 3
MP3 player of choice: iPod Touch 4th Gen 64GB
Wallpaper of choice: Hentai, anything sexy, or anything bloody
Skin of choice: Bloody skin?
Favourite cartoon character: Check the goddamn favorites, i have a lot
Personal Quote: The only way out is sleep, the only way to stay out is death.
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:iconoolouoo:
OoLouoO Feb 26, 2014  Hobbyist
Thank you very much for the :+fav:!
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:iconchasmatic91:
Chasmatic91 Jan 22, 2014  Student General Artist
Tayo! It's me, Chasity. :D
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:icontayobktailz:
Hey Chas! what's going on!
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:iconcomradyurr:
ComradYurr Jan 14, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you very much for faving my work! Make sure to watch my page if you want to keep track of my updates! :D

If you like my work and would like to commission me, this link comradyurr.deviantart.com/art/… Has all you need to know on how to do so, So if you’re looking for an original piece of artwork made by me feel free to read it and hit me up some time. I’d really appreciate it :)
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:icontayobktailz:
of course will do!! :D :D
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:icondestroyah:
Destroyah Dec 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks 4 the fav!
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:icontayobktailz:
Not a problem! :D :D

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:iconsassyraptor:
SassyRaptor Nov 16, 2013  Student Filmographer
Happy Birthday Tayo dear! :glomp: I hope you have a great one. :heart:
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:icontayobktailz:
thanks a lot aleena dear :)
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:iconsassyraptor:
SassyRaptor Nov 21, 2013  Student Filmographer
No problem at all bro. :huggle:
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