been a while since i updated this journal, might as well because i think it will be my last. This year was the definition of MEH; everything was meh, nothing new, nothing old, just meh. and to top shit off, it seems like at the beginning of 2015 im gonna be homeless because i dont have a job. it gotten to this point when mom first was gonna buy me a ticket to Texas for god knows how long just so i can get a job, well i said fuck no id rather be out in the streets in an environment im familiar with than live in a place where more than likely ill go insane from boredom and no where to go, and she said fine. well then it looks like 2015 is gonna start off right...im gonna wander the streets in the cold winter and prolly freeze to death...good. so what, id rather die and be sleeping than live another monotonous, pessimistic, nihilistic, ironic, misanthropic, oxymoronic life. and i dont give a shit if its the pessimism, depression, whatever talking, i've been having these feelings for a while now. Even if i do end up passing my last class (which i doubt i will) and getting a tiny job, i bet that still wont be enough. I'm just tired of all of this..just let me off this roller coaster called life already and be done with it goddammit.
Listening to: The Colossus - Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia