ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
been a while since i updated this journal, might as well because i think it will be my last. This year was the definition of MEH; everything was meh, nothing new, nothing old, just meh. and to top shit off, it seems like at the beginning of 2015 im gonna be homeless because i dont have a job. it gotten to this point when mom first was gonna buy me a ticket to Texas for god knows how long just so i can get a job, well i said fuck no id rather be out in the streets in an environment im familiar with than live in a place where more than likely ill go insane from boredom and no where to go, and she said fine. well then it looks like 2015 is gonna start off right...im gonna wander the streets in the cold winter and prolly freeze to death...good. so what, id rather die and be sleeping than live another monotonous, pessimistic, nihilistic, ironic, misanthropic, oxymoronic life. and i dont give a shit if its the pessimism, depression, whatever talking, i've been having these feelings for a while now. Even if i do end up passing my last class (which i doubt i will) and getting a tiny job, i bet that still wont be enough. I'm just tired of all of this..just let me off this roller coaster called life already and be done with it goddammit.
This is Reality.
This is reality.
Life is a psychopathic oppressor with an erection for sadism.
The weak, it's favorite quarry.
7th day slaughter with feces in their mouths and urine in their eyes.
Some watch, some join, most record, few help. Bartering pity for glory.
Humanity facing empathetic Armageddon.
I am scum.
The curse of apathy does not seem to wane with me, only seems to grow stronger.
No feeling, No emotion. Only vast, reoccurring thought.
Something bad occurs, I take it as normality, as if it's expected.
Good feelings come, but they never last.
Intermittent optimism, habitual pessimism.
This is reality.
Statistics rarely lie, still
I hate myself
I hate everything. I especially hate myself. If i could rewind time so i can not be born, i will. I just had one of the worst weeks ever so far and it's not even finished. I truly hope i die this year. i won't even tell anyone if i plan to kill myself, no one deserves to be caught in my faggotry and fuckery. I'll prolly end up homeless, but it's all good, i knew that was gonna happen from the get go. i hate my cursed bloodline, its like every male in my family is doomed to fail, and i'm next. id rather be cut open repeatedly then suffer that fate. i can't even think properly i hate myself so much. this is my last year. i hate repetition, but
Long Time Eh? Not like anyone cares.....
Yeah yeah its been a long fucking time since i updated this journal, but let's be real, no one visits this page anymore so why bother? im using this as an excuse to vent and bitch since i don't want to bother anyone else with my bullshit. Soooooo that being out the way, lets get to business; first off, IM STILL FUCKING JOBLESS, even tho i got my bachelors last year, im still in the same fucking position i was in all my goddamn life. And before anyone asks about if im job hunting, YES I AM, in fact i've been more persistent with that shit than i usually am. The problem is; ITS NOT FUCKING ENOUGH, well according to mom it isn't, i can put all t
Blueprint of 2012?!?!
Yup that's what 2014 is shaping to be, a total repeat of one of the worst, if not THE worst, years of my existence. The death of James Avery (Uncle Phil) on the first day should have been the sign of whats to come. and yes, i know that he does not relate to me in any way, but i take these signs to heart ok?! After that was just a hodgepodge of arguing, anxiety, worrying about the future, me being stuck at home, suicidal thoughts, brain cells decaying, and get this, me losing the one thing that actually kept my ass sane; my iPod touch. When i lost that shit i was a major mess, my misanthropy and hatred for everything came back at full power, a
© 2014 - 2024 TayobkTailz
Comments0
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In